the whole point of a wedding..

I love wedding trash TV – Four Weddings, Don’t Tell The Bride, Say Yes To The Dress, Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, I watch it all. I don’t even know where this passion came from as I was not a girl who grew up picturing her dream wedding day. Sure, I dreamt of being a princess, a writer, a teacher, a mother and a wife but not a bride. Nonetheless, a couple of weeks after getting engaged I started to notice just how many of these shows there are on pay TV and soon enough they sucked me in. Most of the time I sit on the couch with my mouth open, aghast and even more often than that I’m giggling at the stupidity, but it doesn’t stop me from watching. Like Frannie with her Kardashians, I’m hooked on the escapism.

On an episode of one of these television gems the other night, I heard a bride say ‘but the whole point of a wedding is for the bride to ride in a nice car’… and I found myself cringing for the pure fact that I was watching this show. No honey, there are many reasons people decide to get married, but the ‘whole point’ definitely is not about a car. I guess people (girls particularly) get so wrapped up in this idea of a wedding, they forget that it’s actually really about a marriage. I’m not going to make fun of any short-lived nuptials or preach about the sanctity of marriage or anything self-righteous like that.

I just want to remind brides-to-be out there (myself included) that at the end of your wedding day if you are married, then the day was a success. Everything else is just extras. And that’s not to say you can’t enjoy the extras! The reason AK and I decided against our original plan of eloping was that we wanted to celebrate the special day with the people who mean the most to us and for us personally, that means a fun-filled party in a beautiful spot with good food, drink, people and music. We also wanted to avoid any of those crazy budgets that bridal magazines will have you believe are ‘the average cost of a wedding’ and steer clear of as many of the ‘everybody look at me, it’s my special day’ moments as we could. Because that’s what works for us. If you have the money and inclination to go large, then I say good for you – enjoy.

But beyond choosing a colour scheme and deciding what shade of white our napkins should be, we have also discussed our future goals and aspirations including work, family, children and where to live. We’ve lived together, travelled together and even tried being apart. I dislike when people say someone is ‘too young to be getting married’ (maybe because I’m going to be a young bride myself) but I do think couples should have discussed and agreed on all of the above before taking the leap. As romantic as the notion of two people getting married within a matter of weeks or months of knowing each other is, it’s one heck of a commitment to dive into without completely knowing and understanding the person you are with.

So I guess the point of this little ramble is that regardless of whether you’re having a low-key registry office do or a 300-guest extravaganza, enjoy it for what it is – one day to get you started on the rest of your life together. Now bring on the wedding cake!

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